J O U R N A L ~ !


6.29.21
mood: hungry | music: Ssilcia - As Above So Below | time: 07:32pm

I quit playing WoW. Or "quit" i should say. I unsubbed but lordt knows ill be back eventually :( TBC is a huge let down. I've started playing Final Fantasy XIV last night. I'm a level 14 lancer and I'm having hella fun, I love FF games so idk why it took me this long to try this one! I wanna change my character to a Viera if I keep playing! I love my job too so far! I'm excited for life!


6.16.21
mood: (kinda very) tipsy | music: Helica - Lstar | time: 09:24pm

my new job is cool. im working in logistics now. im gonna make big bux and start saving. i feel like for the fist time in my adult life as someone in like a corperate culture. like. not in a bad way tho. in a way wherre we take like buisness lunches of go drinking after work and hang out with co-workers to like "team build" i like it so far. i think manangment likes me lol. im very talkative and energetic i think. at least i get the vibe i exude that energy. i think i can make a careeer of this. i have dreams of moving to florida. like for years. and my company's headquarters is there............ ALSO after 3 months, my postion is work from home bc im gonna be working night shift n the girl working there moving to day. ive been to many parts of FL and i love it ;_; im in atlanta and grew up here and while it has a culture i know and love, florida has always been this very surreal concept in my mind. ive never believed that you can just ~*~*~ move and it changes ur life ~*~*~* but like dude....... weird crocodile wresting people.... beaches.. you get to see palm trees everywhere. the ocean. i was born on the Adriatic coast. like im a Mediterranean bitch,. the ocean is in my blood. its something ive been craving to feel the energy of for my whole life. i love heat, i love salt and i love Kodak Black. im tired of being here. im tired of a lot of things i dont feel comfortable disclosing. i wanna be all alone in a new place. just me and sand and warmth. my body craves the sun, every other demon can follow me but there is a way out of here. there is a way out of here. im proud of where i've landed and i see good things ahead,. my dreams arent big. i wanna move, live somehwere driving distance to the beach. get a cat. work from home. make art n play vidya games.


5.14.21
mood: happy | music: Bladee - Jewelry | time: 10:22pm

SO EXCITED! i have an interview for my dream job on tuesday! im so excited bc it pays rly well and is ez work from home teir. burning crusade pre-patch is coming on monday. im really hopeful for the future, i have this weird anxiety w talking too much about myself online. even my social media is kinda vauge-posty. but i have big plans and big changes coming that i hope to accomplish soon. oh yeah, speaking of social media. ive def given up on instagram. i havent deleted the account but i dont have the app on my phone anymore. its boring, stale and a waste of time tbh. im still making art every day, coding every day and playing vidya games every day but im not very publically active online u_u


4.16.21
mood: good | music: Kempachii - Oh Yuh | time: 3:19pm

i did it! i bit the bullet and finally got an ipad and pencil! ive wanted one for a long time since its been AGES since ive done digital art lol and i really miss doing it. it was between an ipad and a wacom or huion. ive heard things about huions having glitches and bad drivers and basically bricking themselves after a while and i didnt wanna be tethered to the computer with a wacom so i went with the ipad. i got the cheapest 10.2 32gb which was only 349.99$ at best buy plus the pencil for another hundo. the cheapest wacom with a display is the Wacom: One which was 399.99$ and i think i made the right choice. i also oreded a cute carebear case from aliexpress for it & ive seen ppl using a screen cover that mimics paper and its dumb expensive on amazon but i got one for 7$ from ali! i love it so far, procreate is so easy and intuitive to use. ill be posting digi art soon! ALSO i started a new sketchbook a few days ago, its a big wide Rhodia with dotted pages, the paper is SOOO smooth and my markers just glide across it. i painted it blue n i think it looks p cute!!




4.15.21
mood: frustrated | music: none | time: 4:52pm

ive pulled an all nigher and im trying to stay up all day. im caffinated AF on my 3rd cup of matcha and im trying to draw n i go to sharpen this idiot pencil and HOW TF DOES THIS HAPPEN?!?!? MY EXPENSIVE CARAN D ACHE PENSKULS!!!!!!!! sigh very bigly frustrated. >:I




3.28.21
mood: excited | music: No_4mat - 1992 | time: 12:55pm

IM VERRRRRRRRY EXCITED because i recently found out about a site called Neopets Classic. i was a avid neopets player throughout my childhood and it is kinda why i enjoy writing code and maybe had a big reason in why i got into art as seriously as i did as a kid. anyway, my main neo account got banned in like 2018 for "hacking" which idk how when all i did was trade old rare items for NP on the trading board kek. maybe someone reported me ;_; oh well. im kinda over it now because the site revamp looks like ass and i hate the new converted pets and microtransactions. i kinda left retail WoW for years to play private servers of older expansions and to see someone do this with neopets is really exciting! the sign ups are currently closed since the site in beta and im still waiting on making an account. they do open up fairly often it seems i just happen to miss it with life stuff but be sure to keep an eye on Jelly Classic, which is classic version of JellyNeo. also their discord.

Here are some of my dream pets! im really nostalgic for the fire paintbrush because back in my mallgoth middle school days it was my dream edgy pet and same with starry because its so classic neopets! i cant wait to make stories and petpages for them its so fun ;_;




3.27.21
mood: content | music: none | time: 2:24pm

i upgraded my ram and also bought a internal SSD! i went from 4gb to now 16gb and moved my whole operating system and all my files to the SSD. hollllllllly crap everything runs soo much faster now. all my games pop up in an instant and i get great FPS. before i could barely run retail wow and i couldnt run sims 4 with CC at all but now i have 40gb or CC in sims and it runs perfectly smooth! im so happy! i might make a section of this site deticated to my sims 4 character uwu. its kinda nice still having my old drive too for extra space for pics and music n stuff too. im looking into getting a drawing tablet with a display soon too. im still in the process of researching this though cus i kinda miss doing digital art hehe.


3.13.21
mood: optimistic | music: PHONK | time: 10:04am

i've been okay. i've been working on this site a lot recently. i'm looking for a new job and interships, its kinda stressful and hard. i hate these stupid online zoom job interviews. im not really nervous at all but its just weird lol. ah well. i cleaned my art workspace and its super comfy to draw :') i've been keto dieting for a few months, since like october now and its going great. ive lost like 30lbs and i feel n look great /noflex but im really proud of myself. adjusting to it was pretty ez and i love never really being hungry. i kinda wanna post a b4 n after i get to my goal weight. my sleeping pattern has been weird too lol. im rewatching that whole 50 part chris chan documentry lol. its been so long ive kinda forgotten the lore. its pretty comfy. life is so good. im optimistic. im just waiting for covid to be over. I WANNA GO TO A RAVE OR FESTIVAL GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!!



2.04.21
mood: sleepy | music: Iglooghost - Bug Thief | time: 1:36pm

my sleeping pattern has been so ****ed recently, ive been waking up at like 3pm and going to bed at like 5/6am. ive always been a night person and a late waker upper but sometimes i get in these habits ;_; the only way i ever manage to break them is when i stay up all night then all day the next day... sigh we will see what happens. im skipping a semester of school bc im having issue with financial aid that will hopefully get fixed soon. ive gotten back into classic WoW and been going hard, got to level 43 playing w my partner and one of our good irl friends. im playing a holy priest and i hope we will raid soon if we ding 60 b4 burning crusade comes out. i also cant wait for blizzcon and the big reveal of BC. i have a few WoW accounts all under the same battle.net and my main account got a 1.5 year suspension back in like november of 2019 because i was "using 3rd party programs" and i think its because i tried to set up steam link to try n play on my phone and it flagged it as a bot or something, ah well. i have been playing classic on another account but its all good because my server i originally rolled on is dead (rip deviate delight US ;_;) its been fun tho starting fresh. other than that ive kinda taken a hiatus from neocities for a few months but ive gotten the spark to mess with this site again and plan on adding a lot more content!

here is a doodle of my tauren druid, Kinoko on the Earthfury US server!


9.29.20
mood: sad emoji | music: none | time: 2:03pm

I'm just very disillusioned at the state of the world right now. I want to watch the trump & biden debate so i might do that later today. i really don't want trump to win, like at all. he has been the most divisive president we have had in a very long time, at least in my life time. i remember when bush was president and everyone thought he was so evil (lol green day's american idiot and kanye west... im so old) which looking back in hindsight, he wasn't great because the wars started in the middle east have had devistating affects on the lives of people living in those countries but also like every day people here in america. after the patriot act is something that most people younger than me dont realize how much things have changed. the whole government surveillance thing and the changes in airport proticol. it was kinda the snowball to lead us where we are today in a way. idk im rambling about this. finding out that trump doesn't pay taxes didn't come as a suprise to me but its fucking infuriating. working class people toil away to have a chunk of their income taken from them to fund these stupid policies nobody asked for. i hate the rich. i hate politicians. i hate celebrities. hell awaits all of them.

its been raining a lot which is nice and i'm very excited for halloween and here is a doodle of my minecraft character (click for bigger pic)





9.06.20
mood: hungry | music: casey mq - glossy lips | time: 9:36pm

im so over this corona stuff. i wanna go to the beach so bad and im kinda bummed i havent been able to this summer. im still wating on my taxes and my first stimulus check and i keep calling the irs to see wassup and they just send me through the menu prompts and tell me its still processing. VERY ANNOYING. i really need a new phone. i still have an iphone6 and its not for any frivolous reasons, this thing is slow, cracked an the battery lasts for like 4 hours tops after 100% charge. other than that life has been okay. i miss going out. i havent been to a single show, bar or out dancing all year. my s.o and i just sit at home and play video games or walk around town or go shopping. im very disillusioned by the state of the world as a whole at the moment. its a strange sureal time we live in with all that is going on. also ive been having some health issues kinda, i feel like something is wrong with me bc ive gained a lot of weight the past year or two without any major lifestyle change and my hair has been thinning and getting VERY GREASY VERY FAST so ive been going to the endocronologist and they have been doing a lotta tests and blood work im still waiting for the results of, hopefully this gets figured out soon :(

in other news, i finished this sketchbook (click for bigger pic)





4.30.20
mood: meh | music: Roses (Imanbek Remix) - Saint Jhn | time: 3:07am

quarentine is so boring. i did great this semester since all my classes went online lol. i've been playing a lotta minecraft and i'm gonna try to work on this site more! i have sooooooooooo much free time!



12.13.19
mood: hurting | music: ecco2k - baile edit | time: 11:08am

woke up @ 5am this morning to my bottom right wisdom toof ON FIRE! it hurts so freaking bad. its super infected on the gum around it since its only half errupted. i think this is called pericoronitis and it sucks. i cant open my mouth really and my jaw is swollen af. i wanna go to the dentist to get it pulled out so bad but they are closed on fridays and the weekend so i gotta wait till monday. i was told when i went to the dentist as a teenager that my wisdom teeth would come in straight and didnt need pulling, the top ones did but the bottom ones are only half out and im 27 years old. these should have been out x_x sigh, i just took a bunch of advil and am trying to pass the time now that i feel kinda better.

in other news, i started playing that new linege phone game and pls look at how cute my valkyrie character is ;_;





12.05.19
mood: stressed | music: Katamari Damacy Soundtrack | time: 08:54pm

just got off work! im super stressed! i just finished my finals! my payment for next semester is due today! my obamacare renewal is due by the 15th so is my credit card minimum! my car insurace is due by the 13th! i think im beyond late for 2020 fasfa, i need to go talk to an advisor. fml i hate deadlines x_x im pissed juul discontinued the mint pods, my bf and i got like 20 packs of them haha. im gonna take pics of my sticker collection and add them to my site soon too hehe!!



11.29.19
mood: sleepy | music: none | time: 10:19am

i'm writing this journal from work cus i expect it to b slow the day after thanksgiving, i brought my laptop to try to work on this site a lil bit. i didn't do anything for thanksgiving cus my family isn't american so they don't ever really celebrate any american holidays. i was gonna go with my BF to his parents but its a 3 hour drive to their house and i had to work the morning after so i decided not to go. i've been chilling for my break from school, finals are starting next week and i'm kinda scared of this programming final i have to take even tho i think i should do okay cus ive been studying. i wanna work on art but ive had a massive art block for the past few months and its killin me :( i've been thinking about dabbling in graffitti and street art but idk if i have the money for any spray paints rn, maybe next paycheck. also my left drivers tire is bald af god damn i hate spending money on this shit. im really tired of the cold even tho i live in the south where it objectivlly isnt that bad but i just wanna sip a white claw by the pool. i hate going outside in the cold >:|

hopefully today wont be busy cus i work at a nail salon and all the customers are out black friday shopping, my lil heart goes out to all yall working retail tho ;_;